Day out with the kids

So me and the hubby have joined the national trust and are trying to make our way down the list of places to visit near us. Today we tried Sudbury Hall.

The kids were absolutely loving it especially Mia. She loves playing with other kids and I feel so guilty that she doesn’t get to play with others her own age very often. If you tell someone you’re going to the park you wouldn’t think it would cause someone so much stress and anxiety but believe me it does. Standing watching Mia make her way towards a group of children who are playing near their mums a feeling of complete dread and anxiety comes over me. The thought of being judged on my parenting or appearance overwhelms me. My palms get sweaty and my heart is beating like crazy. I just want to grab Mia and take her away from everyone but I don’t. I don’t want my daughter growing up afraid to talk to people or constantly worrying about what others think of her. Luckily she is nothing like me and is so outgoing! I’m ever so slightly jealous of how happy and carefree she is around others but so so proud. Jacob on the other hand is slightly more reserved around people he doesn’t know. We always call him our little koala bear because of how he cuddles up to you around strangers.

I’m trying to challenge myself to do more things like this for my kids as I don’t want them to miss out but I don’t want to push myself too hard and set myself back further. I know I can do this and my husband and kids are my complete inspiration. I will do it for them.

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