Meet the monsters

I’m currently sat here writing this with a 18 month screaming like a mad man because he hates to be alone. My mums always reminding me that I was like that at his age, crying to the point that I’d make myself sick because I knew my mum would come and pick me up and give me cuddles. Jacob definitely takes after me in that respect (the poor thing) I’m constantly hoping that he won’t end up like me and grows up to have a normal childhood.

I hate using the world normal. To me normal is just another word for boring or average and that’s definitely what I want for either of my kids! And to be completely honest there is nothing “normal” about my kids in the slightest. Mia also known as little miss sassy pants is the most dramatic, funniest little girl you will ever meet. She never fails to make you laugh with her random little outbursts. She’s also the sweetest most caring little girl I know. Sure she has her moments who doesn’t but she knows if somethings wrong and gives cuddles and kisses to make you better. She is so gentle with her new baby cousin and just loves getting to hold her, she literally has the biggest smile on her face every time she sees her. She makes me so proud and I’m sure she’s going to grow up to be something like a nurse or maybe an actress, she definitely has the drama queen thing down to a tee.

And then there’s Jacob. He is just a ball of pure gorgeous, crazy energy. I literally have no idea where the hell he gets all his energy from he never sits still! He’s into everything constantly climbing on the furniture, he eats whatever he finds whether it’s edible or not he’s not fazed he’s up for a challenge and is naked about 90% of the time(definitely a guy thing) you can’t take your eyes off him for a second but he is just so god damn gorgeous and so cheeky. He looks up to his big sister so much and copies whatever she does. I’m so glad they have the relationship they do and hope they stay close as they grow up. It’s definitely not easy having 2 crazy, energetic kids so close in age but I wouldn’t change them for the world. To me they are perfect.

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Day out with the kids

So me and the hubby have joined the national trust and are trying to make our way down the list of places to visit near us. Today we tried Sudbury Hall.

The kids were absolutely loving it especially Mia. She loves playing with other kids and I feel so guilty that she doesn’t get to play with others her own age very often. If you tell someone you’re going to the park you wouldn’t think it would cause someone so much stress and anxiety but believe me it does. Standing watching Mia make her way towards a group of children who are playing near their mums a feeling of complete dread and anxiety comes over me. The thought of being judged on my parenting or appearance overwhelms me. My palms get sweaty and my heart is beating like crazy. I just want to grab Mia and take her away from everyone but I don’t. I don’t want my daughter growing up afraid to talk to people or constantly worrying about what others think of her. Luckily she is nothing like me and is so outgoing! I’m ever so slightly jealous of how happy and carefree she is around others but so so proud. Jacob on the other hand is slightly more reserved around people he doesn’t know. We always call him our little koala bear because of how he cuddles up to you around strangers.

I’m trying to challenge myself to do more things like this for my kids as I don’t want them to miss out but I don’t want to push myself too hard and set myself back further. I know I can do this and my husband and kids are my complete inspiration. I will do it for them.